This photo was supposed to go global.
William and Kate, Prince and Princess of Wales, were leaving a clean tech incubator in Boston when they were introduced to a little boy dressed in a tiny Beefeater costume, who was nervously giving birth to red roses.
The image was absolutely adorable and should have been catnip on the front page, a cute snap redolent of the goodwill that has (mostly) greeted the royal duo since landing in the US on Wednesday.
But who cares? Early Friday morning, when there was a nice moment, except for Kate walking out in a nude Jean Paul Gaultier dress or revealing she was pole dancing on the weekends, there was only one story – TRAILER.
In less than one minute, Harry and Meghan, the Duke and Duchess of Suss*x and Netflix, joined forces, managed to set off the most powerful explosion under Buckingham Palace in 30 years, and since Diana, the Princess of Wales managed to get her hands on Andrew Morton. phone number.
pompously announced as Harry and Megan. Netflix Global Eventlike Second Coming, but with better lighting and more lip gloss, the six-part documentary is reportedly due out next week, although Netflix has yet to deign to confirm.
For our purposes, however, there is one key thing to understand here: this trailer looks like nothing more than a declaration of war.
If anyone, some goddamn writer, thought that the Suss*xes’ mysterious streaming project could be just hours and hours of Suss*x Caring™ commercials where the Duke and Duchess do good deeds without ever letting go of the other person’s hands in nanoseconds, decent, just a little sickening a social media ad about how good they are at charity, and then… oh my god.
Reading on the coffee grounds of this trailer, it looks a lot like the Duke and Duchess and really has the royal family in sight.
It is obvious that it is impossible to pass by time. That the series was first seen by the world when William and Kate returned to the United States for the first time in eight years seems like too much of a coincidence.
The release could have happened any day in the last weeks or months, but no. It comes just as William is gearing up for the moment he will be in the spotlight of the world, ahead of his meeting with President Joe Biden on Friday US time and ahead of the second presentation of his highly successful and highly acclaimed Earthshot Award.
Any hope of Wales for a smooth, big smile royal journey can be neatly packaged with William GrowRite shampoo: we are now firmly in disaster territory, folks.
It was bad enough that the prince’s godmother was forced to step down earlier this week following allegations of racism, but Friday’s trailer really killed off any chance of Wales’ foray to get the attention or interest they must have been hoping for.
All that hard work, all that planning resulted in 55 seconds of slightly overwhelmed emotions and moody piano music.
Aside from a few ardent monarchists and Tony Abbott, who is probably glued to every Boston TV station live, who cares how well the Prince and Princess of Wales charm the masses?
Not when we’re admiring the buffet with numerous photos of the allegedly infamous private duke and duchess kissing and relaxing in what looks like different international places! It’s overdone and exaggerated, and even though William and Kate are there, how could they even begin to compete positively with the Suss*xes’ Hallmark bid?
However, while Wales may be quietly mourning the trip that was to take place and the PR gold of Kate posing with Billie Eilish (she’s got Gen Z members for sure!), the release of Harry and Meghan’s trailer means something. much more. important.
This is the point of no return.
Like Julius Caesar crossing the Rubicon to enter Rome, sparking a civil war, Harry and Meghan are entering new territory in this series in terms of their relationship with his family, their careers and their brand.
If this trailer is any indication, the Suss*xes’ interview with Oprah last year, with their shocking statements about institutional racism and ice-cold water running in royal veins, translates to nothing less than entertainment, as opposed to the series’ tasting menu. Netflix. Dramaaah.
This trailer would seem to suggest that the couple go all-in in their fight to win the status of permanent victim once and for all, whether it’s an institution, a family, or both.
The solution for us to hear Harry say “no one sees what goes on behind closed doors” before the trailer cuts immediately to a stone-faced shot of Kate taken during a Commonwealth Day service in March 2020 can’t be a coincidence or an accident. .
We are shown Meghan hunched over with her head in her hands, talking on the phone, a $2,340 Hermès blanket draped artfully over a chair; there’s Harry with his head thrown back, seemingly overwhelmed with emotion, and Meghan wiping away tears; and Megan looks crying in the car. (Maybe they should have called it “Megan Cries on the Spot” and “Provokes Sympathy” in the style of Netflix’s Jerry Seinfeld?)
And it’s all done in artful black and white in what seems like an obvious attempt to really dial up the pathos to 11.
Does anyone really think after watching this trailer that we are in for a detailed portrait of the competing claims of personal happiness and duty?
What can be any real recognition of their extraordinary privilege, both material and global platform, granted to them as cutting-edge members of the royal family? (The Hermès blanket moment seems almost parody.)
Seeing this, the chances of any improvement in transatlantic relations with HRH seem nil.
After Harry and Megan it turns out it’s hard to see how any royal journalist or writer could ever again use the words “healing”, “forgiveness” or “building bridges” in the context of William and Harry’s relationship other than with sarcasm.
So is King Charles. Almost every story about father and son emphasized that the king loves his youngest son, but how could this television project not seem like something of a betrayal?
All families fight, but most families don’t end up replaying their various grievances over the course of a six-hour story arc on the world’s largest streaming platform.
What’s even more remarkable is that this trailer poses a deeply philosophical question for the 21st century: what’s the difference between a documentary and a reality show?
On your standard Bravo fare, we get tears, voyeuristic glimpses at attractive people’s relationships, and plenty of peeks into their huge multi-million dollar homes. AT Harry and Megan we get tears, voyeuristic looks at attractive people’s relationships, and a lot of peeking into their huge multi-million dollar homes.
The fact that the father of one star here is the head of state does not automatically make this project a Serious project worthy of mind-blowing intellectualism, and the black and white image does not make it highly intellectual.
There are so many questions that the upcoming episode of this show raises.
Can the Suss*xes expect or demand privacy when they are willing to violate their privacy in exchange for a big check? Can or will they be taken seriously as humanitarians after they have gone down a path that clearly resembles the Kardashians?
Will this documentary, ostensibly not a reality show, secure them firmly in celebrity territory and undermine their hopes of becoming players in the world of philanthropy?
Are they going to generate a global wave of sympathy and support for their various tribulations, or will they watch the very rich cry for six hours over dastardly headlines? daily mail and forcing them to sit in the second row deals them an irreparable blow to their reputation?
I think it’s really fitting that Wales is in Boston at the time the trailer comes out. It was there in 1773 that some resentful Yankees decided that they had had enough of being treated by the British and threw a lot of tea overboard, thus starting the American Revolution.
A little less than 250 years later, a very similar scenario is playing out, only with $2,340 blankets and a Netflix crew to capture every tear.
It looks like the revolution will indeed be televised.
Daniela Elser is a writer and royal commentator with over 15 years of experience working with a range of leading Australian media outlets.
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