It’s no big secret that infidelity is the ultimate relationship killer. Lack of emotional/s*xual connection, anger or revenge, commitment issues, or love burnout – whatever it is, finding out you’ve been ripped off by a beloved partner is always devastating.
Chances are, you’ll feel a lot of emotions that, frankly, will hit you like a thousand bricks – however, it’s important not to suppress them. Talk to people close to you, call your therapist, or as in this case, talk to a group of netizens.
Now, the fact that Reddit is a very diverse website where you can discover anything on any topic under the sun should come as no surprise. It’s home to 3.5+ million subreddits, and guess what – there’s a place where you can vent too, whether it’s your partner’s infidelity or something else. A community is called. r/TrueOffMyChest It gives people a platform to vent without fear of judgment and perhaps an unwanted opinion.
More information: Reddit | Gottman Institute | Sarah Povey
You know what they say: “You never know how strong you are until the only choice you have is to be strong.”
Image credit: Anastasia Pavlenko (not original photo)
“My girlfriend just gave birth to our first child. I know I am not the biological father and I disclosed that I found out with his birth.” – this internet user approached. r/TrueOffMyChest to reveal a disturbing and deeply intimate story about his girlfriend and a child he discovered he didn’t have when she was 6 months pregnant. The post managed to get more than 20K votes as well as 2.3K comments discussing the strange story.
A man discovers his long-term girlfriend has been cheating on him for a year, when she gives birth to a child that isn’t his, leaving him momentarily separated.
Image credit: Thrower3733339
The 27-year-old began her post by admitting she found out the baby wasn’t hers when her long-term partner was several months along.
A man named Brian approached the author at his workplace and revealed the whole truth, claiming that he and Sarah – the man’s girlfriend – had been sleeping together for at least a year. The lovers had come to an agreement that they would pretend the child was the author’s – however, Brian had recently become a Christian and, presumably, could not bear the guilt, so he decided to confess. What did
Now, to know more about this story, KristenBellTattoos.com approached the author and asked him two questions. “My relationship with Sarah wasn’t perfect but I gave her my all. We’ve been together since we were 20. I think maybe she got bored of me. Who knows,” the creator of the post said. said when we reflected on his overall relationship with Sarah.
Image credit: Thrower3733339
We then asked about any possible updates the author was willing to share: “I don’t have a big mental update except that Brian has met the baby and he’s actually on the birth certificate. Insisting on signing. However, we have both agreed to wait until the paternity test is done. I have not spoken to Sarah and will only speak to her through Brian.
The person then added: “According to Brian, Sarah asked him if he wanted to finally get together as a couple so he wouldn’t have to do it alone, but he hasn’t really answered that question yet. Not a given. Whatever he does, I wish him luck. I plan to give a full update only when I have the paternity results.”
Finally, we wondered if the creator of the post would like to say something to people who might be going through similar things: “I don’t really have any advice. I’d say if you ever find yourself in this If caught in a situation like this, definitely don’t drink. Pack your stuff and be prepared for any consequences.”
Image credit: Thrower3733339
Given how serious the problem is, BP also wants to add some expert input to perhaps help those struggling with cheating partners. We were able to reach Donald Cole: “I am a therapist who has been using the Gottman Method with clients for nearly 20 years. In addition to my private therapy practice, which I share with my wife, Carrie, I Clinical Director of Gottman Institute“
When we asked Donald how to deal with infidelity, he gave us the following answer: “There is perhaps no more painful situation in a marriage than the pain of betrayal. It destroys a sense of trust and stability. It’s hard to predict. Couples therapy deals with a lot of issues, and in our approach, we’ve developed a structured approach that really makes a difference. The approach is still in testing stages. My wife is actually the research director and is in charge of studies on the effectiveness of our treatment for cases.
“Without going into too much detail, the process involves going through three stages: Atone, which involves dealing with the trauma of the cheating partner, resolving unanswered questions, expressing your feelings, and setting boundaries. Involved. Stage 2 is the Attune stage, where issues of conflict and distance in the marriage that created situations of cheating are dealt with. Stage 3 is the Attach stage, where the couple works together to build closeness and intimacy. ,” Donald added.
Image credit: Thrower3733339
Our second is professional. Sarah Poveya holistic therapist who specializes in working Trauma, attachment, shadow, and all the wonderful challenges that come with being human. We asked. Sarah Is it worth fixing a relationship after someone cheats: “Life after infidelity will inevitably look different than life before the relationship. There’s no going back, and for some couples, that’s fine. thing. It’s just a matter of integrating the experience. Infidelity is certainly one of the most confronting experiences a couple can go through, and it’s up to the couple to decide which direction the relationship will take. I I’ve worked with couples who have a much deeper, more spiritual relationship with themselves and with each other after infidelity, and I’ve worked with couples who were too toxic about it and just couldn’t. “Are/don’t want to. Work through it. There has to be an agreement for a new and different way of relating to each other.”
Image credit: Christopher Brown (not the original photo)
Finally we asked Sarah For advice on what one should do in such a situation: “It is human nature to seek revenge after betrayal. The author’s response to finding out that his girlfriend was cheating on him is understandable. We are a Can hold multiple feelings at the same time, i.e. I am angry and want revenge and I know that hurting someone else will not take away my own pain.
“I don’t usually give advice as a therapist, but if I did, it would be this: Revenge is a zero-sum game. Revenge is usually sought to compensate for the loss of destruction, shame, and betrayal. It’s a desperate attempt to regain power and control. Waiting to hurt her after giving birth and taking care of the infant won’t take away the pain of this betrayal and feels just as painful for you. Confront him as soon as you can and tell him it’s not going to work. Say goodbye, cut your losses, and get out.”
What do you think about this situation?
Fellow members of the online community shared their thoughts and opinions on the situation.
Image credit: Pete Pilon (not original photo)
#Satisfied #guy #waits #unfaithful #girlfriend #birth #child #isnt #confront
Source link