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FERNE McCann spoke about the “incredibly difficult months” following a recent trip to India.
The 32-year-old reality star first came under fire when a series of audio clips leaked from an anonymous account.
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After the voice memo scandal, the mother of one took some time to think and went on vacation with fiancée Lorrie Haynes earlier this month.
After returning from a trip, Fern posted a photo in which she meditates in a brown top and leggings against a sunny background.
She told fans, “I wake up so early. It must be because of the jet lag after returning from India.
“To use my time this morning, I meditated.
“Honestly, I haven’t meditated at home in a long time. I’m so glad I just got into this this morning.
“Why do we often put off most of the things that bring us the most benefit? Sometimes you just have to bite the bullet and commit to 54321.”
The Ess*x star said she felt “positive” for the first time in months.
Fern continued, “During the meditation, I really focused on connecting with silence.
“Peace in my mind and body. It’s not always easy, but I didn’t want to give in to it.
“I felt and feel so calm, and for the first time after several incredibly difficult months, I felt positive.
“This morning was such a reminder for me to give up here and now.
“Just be and pay a little more attention to the things you know will benefit you the most.
“This is your sign to do something today that will cheer you up. Take care of yourself.”
Fern’s trip comes after the star is said to have “begged” Sam Fiers for a “secret meeting” following a voice memo dispute.
The reality TV star first came under fire for voice memos when a series of audio clips were leaked from an anonymous account.
A woman was heard beating The Only Way Out of Ess*x star Sam Fiers, calling her overweight and a “narcissistic bitch.”
It has now been revealed that Fern has been b*mbarding Sam with messages asking him to meet up to discuss the damn audio clips.
“Fern desperately needed to meet Sam and b*mbarded her with messages and also talked to Billy. [Sam’s sister]”, – said the source Nearer magazine.
“Recently, she and Sam almost came face-to-face at the Pride of Britain Awards and Fern thinks it’s only a matter of time before they get back together.
“She doesn’t want to make a scene, so instead she tried to set up a secret private chat with them where Fern could review everything that was said and try to make things right.”
Last month, Fern faced another scandal over voice memos when an audio recording was leaked containing slanderous remarks about acid att*ck victim Sophie Hall.
She apologized to all the victims of Arthur Collins – her ex-boyfriend and father of her daughter – who is serving a 20-year sentence for an att*ck in a nightclub in London in April 2017.
Sophie, one of 22 injured, was scarred for life.
Former star Towie Fern said: “In particular, I want to apologize to Sophie Hall. I don’t think she’s ugly or stupid. She was incredibly brave.”
The scandal erupted last month when messages appeared on the Instagram account.
In the voice memos, the woman is heard taunting Sophie before adding, “She’s an ugly f*cking slut.”
Despite calls to fire Fern from her job at ITV following the scandal, the broadcaster supported her.
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