Demented Children: Christian Wilkins, Willow Stefanovich, Robert Irwin fame is nepotism

Are you a merchant, baby? A demented child is a descendant of someone famous or incredibly powerful who used his family’s connections to build a career.

This does not apply to me personally. My mom is an English teacher and my dad had a pub. Unfortunately it didn’t give me an agent, just more copies. Pride and Prejudice than anyone could ever really need.

However, I got a pretty nice job as a waitress at Max Brenner because my sister also worked there, so you know – I get it. Also, I was a really bad waitress and honestly didn’t deserve the job, but that’s nepotism to you. I was the Brooklyn Beckham of the waitresses.

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No, there are surprises here, but the Australian media landscape is full of them, and helper babies are a bit defensive, so let’s tread lightly.

For example, recently when model Lottie Moss, Kate Moss’s half-sister, was accused of profiting from nepotism, she tweeted, “I’m so fed up with people blaming nepotism for why they’re not rich, famous or successful.”

She has since deleted her Twitter account.

The internet has been swept up in talk about nepotism being a big part of Hollywood. Did you know actress Dakota Johnson from Fifty Shades of Grey actor Melanie Griffith’s daughter? Or that Lily-Rose Depp, who often poses for Chanel, is Johnny Depp’s daughter?

Did you know that Maude Apatow, who plays Lexi in Euphoria, daughter of actress Leslie Mann and director Judd Apatow? Or have you noticed that Lily Collins, the star of Emily in Paris, is the daughter of musician Phil Collins.

The list goes on and on, and even actor Steve R. McQueen, who plays Jeremy, the hot brother from The Vampire Diariesgrandson of famous actor Steve McQueen.

They have the genetics of their parents, but more importantly, they have the connections and surnames of their parents that will draw attention to them. They also probably have credit cards instead of the pathetic debit card I am wandering around with.

Meanwhile, all my last name has given me is entrance to the local bowling alley in my small town because I’m Doreen’s granddaughter.

You know how everyone says that all you have to do is walk in the door? Well, it’s really easy to do when mom or dad keeps it open for you.

Naturally, nepotism is common not only in Hollywood, but also in other places.

For example, host Karl Stefanovich’s daughter Willow Stefanovich recently signed with Precision MGMT to launch her modeling career.

She signed with an agency before she graduated from high school. The only thing I signed up for in high school was when I forged my father’s signature so I could go on school field trips.

The son of entertainment reporting legend Richard Wilkins, Christian Wilkins has also carved out an entire career for himself, mostly just to be himself.

Like the Kardashians, Wilkins is often more known for his clothes than for who he is. His red carpet looks often go viral, but he’s also a host, performer and model. He mostly wears a lot of hats, and I’m not just talking about his wardrobe.

Even dear Robert Irwin is a child of nepotism. His mournfully deceased father Steve Irwin left him an animal legacy, which Robert accepted with open arms and now dedicated his life to the advancement of the Australian Zoo.

In addition, according to rumors, Robert is dating Heath Ledger’s niece. When will it stop? It won’t! Famous people like to hang out with famous people.

I don’t think it can be denied that nepotism is as common as herpes. These children of nepotism are everywhere. Nicole Kidman’s niece, Lucia Hawley, got a job at Nine as an associate producer. Lisa Wilkinson and Peter FitzSimons’ daughter Billy FitzSimons got a job as an editor at Daily Aus until his 25th birthday.

Roxy Yatsenko’s daughter Pixie hasn’t even gone to school yet and already owns a multi-million dollar business. In the meantime, I’m still depressed that my collection of baby hats hasn’t gone up in value.

Pixie also made enough money to retire at 15. Yes, it’s worth being privileged.

TV couple Peter Overton and Jessica Rowe’s nephew Sam Rechner has landed a role in Steven Spielberg’s new film.

It will never end!

It’s not just little kids. Do you know David Campbell, the man who carries Carols by candlelight every year and hosts Today Extra son of Jimmy Barnes?

Or that Angela Bishop, a Ten reporter, is also the daughter of politician Bronwyn Bishop.

You may have missed the message that Julian McMahon, best known as Ryan Murphy’s movie star Pintuck/foldson of former Prime Minister Sir William McMahon. He was also married to Kylie Minogue’s sister Danni in the 90s.

Even the restless Andrew O’Keeffe is a child of nepotism. He made a name for himself as the host of the show Seven’s. Deal or not. However, his father is a Justice of the Supreme Court of New South Wales. Meanwhile, his uncle Johnny is a cult musician.

Do you already see a pattern?

For the most part, being a demented child is pretty easy. You get a cool job and it’s pretty easy to become famous, you don’t even have to worry about a sex tape or bikini body workout plan.

You are sometimes ridiculed on the internet for not being very talented, but money and status are probably some consolation. Victoria Beckham and David Beckham’s famous son Brooklyn Beckham was trolled online for his photography book, while daughter Roxy Yatsenko was fried for having a lavish Christmas list. But I have a feeling that both are fine.

Actually, I know it’s Pixie. Her famous mom just posted a photo of her wearing a mask on a plane.

So why is nepotism everywhere? Because it’s easy for them to be. When you are born with great status and wealth, all doors will open for you. It will be easier for you to make friends, get a job, create a profile.

So if you are a nepotism child and someone points it out and you find yourself getting defensive, take a deep breath and remember that the nepotism child actually has a bunch of perks, take it baby!

The rest of us will just look with envy and poorer bank accounts on our very ordinary but absolutely loving parents.