“[Am I The Jerk] To pay for my son and his STBW to spend their honeymoon at my winter cabin?”

Parents are obligated to take care of their children until they are legally adults, but they usually continue to support them until they reach that stage of life. When they can live on and beyond themselves because that’s what you do for your loved ones.

But this one father didn’t think he should help his financially struggling son and not only didn’t contribute to his wedding, he asked for money to stay in his winter cabin for his honeymoon. Intending to. Dad wants to know how the internet feels when his family starts berating him for his decision.


More information: Reddit

The father knows that his son is struggling financially and will not help with his wedding or his honeymoon.

Image credit: Jim Kravitz (not original photo)

The original poster (OP) has a son who is 22 and getting married in a month. The father thinks his son is rushing and shouldn’t get married so young, but since he is an adult, he can make decisions for himself.


So he decided not to seek advice, but was struggling financially to put the marriage together. That means he didn’t have any more money for a honeymoon, but he wanted to go.

The man’s son is getting married soon, so he asks his father if he can stay at his winter cabin for their honeymoon since he doesn’t have much money.

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Image credit: honeya34_____


A honeymoon may not seem like such an important part of a wedding because you can get married without it, but many online resources suggest that it is actually important to a relationship.

Andrea Danger“On a honeymoon, you and your spouse are completely focused on each other and the joy that comes from your union,” explains a licensed family and marriage therapist based in San Francisco. Helps solidify the foundation of a lifelong commitment. Missing it will mean you don’t have private time to process the transition into a new life you’re entering together.

The knot Highlights some of the benefits of going on a honeymoon like focusing only on each other, forgetting the rest of the world and leaving your problems behind and playing around and having fun.

The oldest matrimonial publication in the United States, Brideagrees that “the honeymoon is a time to bond, relax, celebrate as a couple, reflect on your relationship, and look to what’s to come.”

The father is aware of the money situation, but he still wanted his son to pay for the cabin.


Image credit: honeya34_____

However, there may be reasons why you don’t want a honeymoon. loving Reassure couples that skipping it isn’t a big deal, especially if you’re saving money and want to spend it on something else or you’ve already traveled a lot so it won’t be so exciting. Maybe you’re already married off or you just want all the planning and stress to end with the wedding without having to travel.

They also point out that money is a big factor in whether or not a couple can go on a honeymoon. He suggests that couples keep this idea in mind and plan their dream vacation later. For now, you can plan a staycation or so-called minimoon that requires less funds.

The son doesn’t want that, so he complains to the rest of the family and they stand by him, but the father doesn’t think he deserves a backlash.


Image credit: honeya34_____

Well, that’s what the OP’s son was thinking of doing when he asked his father to let him spend his honeymoon in the winter cabin that the OP bought for his late wife years ago. was purchased with The father agreed, but only if his son would pay for his stay. When his sister asked for the same favor, she also had to pay, so the man didn’t think it was a big deal.

The son did not take it well, especially because the father also did not support the wedding, although he mentioned in the comments that he would give them a wedding gift. The groom complained about this to other family members and the OP contacted him and asked him to change his mind. Reached Judy Bartwiaka family therapist, to comment on the father-son relationship and thought that “it would have been a kind gesture of him to let his son and daughter-in-law use the cabin for their honeymoon and have their own happiness.” Memories Unfortunately, he missed the opportunity and created a bad feeling which is sad.

On the other hand, she adds, “I think parents want to help and be involved in their children’s weddings and contribute financially if they can. I don’t think it’s an obligation on either side. should feel.”

You might think that since parents have no obligation to support their adult children, the son would feel a little entitled to react the way he did, and the father certainly thinks so, but “Her son was probably surprised,” the therapist told us. “And it hurt to be asked to pay to use the cabin and she didn’t mean to be rude.” She also reminds us of the fact that “weddings can be emotional times. And we have to tread carefully.”

Image credit: US Department of Agriculture (not original photo)

People in the comments were defending the son and couldn’t understand why the OP wouldn’t do this favor for him, especially when he knows the son doesn’t have a lot of money. He believed that this incident could really damage their relationship to the extent that when the father needed help in his later years, his son would not be there for him.

Do you think the son is entitled to a free stay in his father’s cabin, or does the father have the right to demand payment? Do you think the father is acting like this because he doesn’t approve of the marriage? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

People in the comments have already seen how the son will cut ties with his father in the future after such behavior.

Image credit: Benediktv (not original photo)

Do you think the son is entitled to a free stay in his father’s cabin, or does the father have the right to demand payment? Do you think the father is acting like this because he doesn’t approve of the marriage? Let us know your thoughts in the comments.

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